I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
