4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize