Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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