WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
