Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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