..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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