We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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