I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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