I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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