We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
