direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
