did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
