You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
