you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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