for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
