I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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