whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.