I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.