U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?