i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Randomize
