There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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