was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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