they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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