he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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