didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
