Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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