Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
