that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
