I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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