I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
