was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
