He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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