Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
