I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
