I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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