Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This baby is an asshole
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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