Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize