Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
