This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
