i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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