i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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