Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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