I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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