It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
