i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
