And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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