There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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