I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize