She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize