Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
