If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
