Pappa wants mamma naked
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
