She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
