Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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