is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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