I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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