Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
